Chavaleh Forgey
“This is the only place that I’ve been able to be my whole self this year. And I’ve really needed it.” (TLF cohort participant)
What is wholeness? It certainly doesn’t mean being entirely healthy, or happy, or peaceful. It isn’t a false positivity that seeks to numb from the reality of the world or even our own world. I think my TLF cohort, if confronted with this question, would answer that bringing our whole selves to our gatherings meant that we could hold our own despair in one hand and another’s joy in the other, or vice versa. It meant that we could acknowledge that our diverse contemplative prayer experiences were inspired by one Holy Spirit. And though it may sound cliché, it meant that we were safe together – safe from judgment, safe from secrecy, and safe from masking who we truly are.
This wasn’t an instant environment, regardless of how sacred I tried to make the space. But the development of spiritual practices and introspective self-revelation through the TLF gatherings helped that environment to emerge more quickly than I would ever have imagined possible. As that happened, the truthful vulnerability increased within the group.
This environment wasn’t for everyone – I had a much larger group at the beginning than I had at the far end. I think that my longer spread of meetings, including planned breaks for Christmas and Easter seasons, may have contributed to this – but I also think that there were some that started that just found themselves uncomfortable with the level of real that began to develop.
My group explored the heartache of ministry with people who failed to see God’s image in others; the personal pain of a child with severe health issues; the loneliness of church leadership, including that of “lay” leadership; the discomfort of awaiting a call. We also explored the radical joy of encountering Jesus through service; the indescribable heart-filling that occurs when people we work with find the same; creativity and ideas and stirring of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes all on the same evening.
I’m so grateful to Thriving Leadership Formation for the opportunity to walk this journey of prayer with a remarkable group of people. Even as I helped them to take steps of spirit-filled journey, I found myself on a parallel one. Part of the environment of protected vulnerability was that the practices and the role of leading through them were not hierarchical but collaborative. The people in my cohort ministered to each other and to me and I hope that I was able to minister to them as well. I have a strong commitment and call to empower the “priesthood of all believers,” and this journey was one where all participants saw their own role as disciples and as priests more clearly. I hope that I will be able to lead another cohort at some point, and I look forward to seeing another group of people grow in their faith and trust in the unlimited love of God.
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Pastor Chavaleh Forgey (she/her) is currently serving at Mount Cross Lutheran in University Place, Washington. She has a specialty in experimental ministries that create community and multi-church partnerships to serve marginalized people in restorative ways. She is committed to the priesthood of all believers and helping non-ordained people find and develop their gifts in worship, preaching, pastoral care, and experimental ministries, and is particularly concerned with creating vital worship environments which foster hope, joy, and community. She lives on a backyard farm in Gig Harbor, Washington, with her husband, Lim, and oldest kid, Raven (her other two adult children reside in California). She is usually involved in one big project or another, and conducts some opera on the side — but in between she is happiest at home with family, snuggled up with a cat or a goat with a good book!
